The Blog of Rob

Today at lunch I was trying to buy the new Novik book, Temeraire: Throne of Jade. I went to my usual place, but it was mysteriously closed due to 'unforeseen circumstances' (a very LUL-like non-explanation) so I thought I'd have a look in WH Smith instead, since it's the only other place in Putney which sells books. I looked in the 'Science Fiction and Fantasy' section but couldn't find it, but with a little perseverance I did discover the paperback of the first book of the Temeraire series in the 'General Fiction' section. I'm not quite sure of the logic involved, after all An Instance of the Fingerpost, a largely historically accurate novel, was in the SF&F section, why would Temeraire, a novel featuring dragons as a major plot element, be in the general section?

Mind you, I did end up buying a book at WH Smith, a new collection of Murakami short stories, so it still won out over the Ottakers which wasn't even open...

Tesco are an excellent supermarket, they seem to really struggle with the web though. I have a Tesco credit card and I've in the past attempted to sign up to their online service (just like I have done for my bank and all my other credit cards) but was stymied when, half way through the application process, they asked me to print out a form, fill it in and post it to them. Right, I'll send that the next time I'm in the post office then...

Two years later, I still didn't have the online access setup.

However, some weeks ago I saw an advert which indicated they'd made some improvements so I thought I'd give it another go. I did manage to get signed up without recourse to the post office or the telephone, but I wouldn't be allowed 'full access' until I'd typed in a code off a letter they were going to send me. This is still an improvement, at least it doesn't require me to leave the house.

So tonight, I tried to gain 'full access' by typing in the code. It was not a fun experience. After searching for some way to let them know how much fun I was having I finally hit upon a 'Contact Technical Support' form, here is my rant:

I have been trying to setup online access to my credit card details. For some reason you cannot give useful help at any point in the process. For example, selecting a password - the help is as follows:

"Your password has to be alphanumeric (containing both letters and numbers) and be between 6-8 characters. Again, it should not be an obvious combination to someone else."

Except this is not true. I typed in several passwords that contained both letters and numbers before I discovered that in fact what the rules are:

"A password containing both letters and numbers BUT no upper case letters AND must begin with a letter and NOT a number"

So my complaint number one is - you do not correctly specify the password format in the help, please correct this.

My second problem came as I searched for a place to report this issue. I soon discovered the 'Contact Us' page but strangely, for an internet service, there were only phone numbers on it. This is kind of ludicrous, I'm not sure why you think other people want to use your online services, but spending extra time chatting on the phone is actually the main thing I'm trying to avoid by signing up.

So complaint number two is - if you want to provide an online service, provide an obvious way for people to contact you online while using it.

After I tried phoning (I was put on hold, the music wasn't very good, it's late, I hung up) I started looking around the other pages for some help and hit upon your FAQ. First let me get out of the way the question "How do I dispute a transaction?" for which the answer is "call customer services" - please refer to my previous point, you're supposed to be providing an online service, people are using it to try and avoid wasting their lives listening to hold music. Moving onto the 'Technical queries' section, and leaving aside the doubtful accuracy of some of the answers (processor speed won't be having too much effect on the speed of your site, by the way), all of the links to 'download an updated browser' lead to a 404 page not found error. I'm not even really complaining about this, it's not like I can't find a browser download by myself, but you might as well remove the links if you're not going to check they're valid.

Finally I have discovered this 'Help: Technical Support' page, which, lo and behold, does allow me to submit a complaint online. Why couldn't you just link to this from the 'Contact Us' page? However, there are many issues with this form. "Simply complete this form to let us know about your computer" it asks, and yet I can't. My operating system (Fedora Core 5, but I would have been happy enough with 'Linux') is not listed and my browser (Firefox, the second most popular browser on the web) is not listed, instead of an option 'Other' which you seem to have managed with the ISP list. The only other option available to me is "Don't Know" - but I do know, you just won't let me tell you. And again your obsession with telephones rears its ugly head - why would telephone number be a required field on an online form requesting support for an online service? Please, let me make myself clear once more, I am using the online service because I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU ON THE PHONE.

So my final complaint is, please fix your technical support form to include the possibility that I just might not be using Windows or MacOS or Internet Explorer or Netscape. And stop trying to phone me.

It remains to be seen if they respond. In case you were wondering, this is the Tesco Credit Card Online FAQ.

Of course, now that I seem to have 'full access' I discover that what this really means is - 'click here to have us send you a letter or phone you'.