Thank you, London Transport

I had a thoroughly annoying trip home from work today. Everything went fine until I got to Waterloo where it seemed there were some delays on the Northern Line, the dot matrix display said 'check front of train for destination'. of course, since the train was already standing at the platform that little nugget of advice was already moot so I leaned into the train to listen. Since the standard announcement lists all the places you can change to before giving you the information actually relevant to the train's destination this is always slightly risky because the drivers are always keen to get the doors closed before the automatic announcement gets onto that bit. It turned out the train was destined for Edgware so I took a seat and waited for the next one to appear...

The next train was also heralded by a 'check front of train for destination' notice on the dot matrix, this time I checked, this train was also going to Edgware. I waited.

There were more or less constant announcements explaining that there were delays on the Northern Line so I wasn't too surprised at a run of Edgware bound trains, but generally you're much more likely to be sitting comfortably for the whole journey if you just wait for the right train at Waterloo instead of going to Camden and remembering to get off. There were also constant announcements that there were delays elsewhere on the network, but I pretty much ignored them, as well as reminders that smoking was not allowed on London Underground property. This seemed odd at first, but a few minutes later a guy did walk past me smoking what was left of a fag, at this point they announced, once again, that smoking was not allowed on the underground, so let me pause in this tale to make an aside:

• If smoking is banned on LUL property, they really should get their staff to stop doing it in the little copse beside Finchley Central, taking the ash trays away would probably send the right message too...


• They had obviously been sending out these stop smoking announcements since this guy walked into the station, it was just as obvious after five minutes of them that this guy was paying no attention whatsoever. I would like to point out to LUL staff that sitting in a control room repeatedly saying things to someone who is not listening to you is not a good way to stop them doing what you don't want them to do, but it is good at annoying the rest of us. If you really want him to stop smoking get off your arse and go and take the cigarette off him, or would that be too stressful that you'd need more than your standard nine weeks of holiday to recover?

Anyway, smoking guy got on the next train, also bound for Edgware. I had the PDA out by this point and was happily playing patience while awaiting a High Barnet train. I waited.

The next train also turned out to be Edgware bound. I waited some more. Another Edgware train. Some more waiting. Since about 25 minutes had elapsed since I arrived on the platform I figured it was time to cut my losses and just get on an Edgware train, and of course this is the moment the driver chooses to tell you that all trains through Waterloo are bound for Edgware this evening. Despite more or less constant use of the PA since I'd got there, nobody at Waterloo had decided to share this nugget of information, and, another note for LUL staff, you can't hear the train driver announcing stuff unless you are on or near the train - yes those people sitting down you were referring to can't hear you, much like the guy smoking the fag earlier.

So thank you, London Transport, for wasting 25 minutes of my life that I will never get back...

(On the plus side, the chocolate machine, which still says ** Thank You ** and shows little sign of life, did have a box of Trebor spearmints and a roll of Wine Gums sitting in it's dispenser )